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The Daily Funnies


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ShadowPuterDude

Sat Oct 20 2007, 01:15PM

...the Shadow knows

Registered Member #1

Joined: Thu Apr 27 2006, 04:52PM
Location: Northern NY
Posts: 251
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The Top 12 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support

12. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
11. "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
10. "So -- what are you wearing?"
9. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
8. "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."
7. "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
6. "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
5. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
4. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
3. "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
2. "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support...

1. "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

"Only those who fail greatly can ever achieve greatly" - Robert F. Kennedy
Microsoft Most Valuable Professional - Consumer Security (2007-2008)
Member - Alliance of Security Analysis Professionals - Since 2006
Linux Registered User # 363218

ShadowPuterDude

Thu Oct 25 2007, 06:58PM

...the Shadow knows

Registered Member #1

Joined: Thu Apr 27 2006, 04:52PM
Location: Northern NY
Posts: 251
Thanked 12 times in 12 posts

Error Messages We Can Actually Understand

ShadowPuterDude

Sun Oct 28 2007, 10:20PM

...the Shadow knows

Registered Member #1

Joined: Thu Apr 27 2006, 04:52PM
Location: Northern NY
Posts: 251
Thanked 12 times in 12 posts

WINDOZE QUOTES

"How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"
Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside..."
"I try to avoid using Microsoft. That's why I use MS-DOS."
Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not."
Tech Support: "What program is it?"
Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."
Customer: "File manager? What's that?"
Tech Support: "How long have you had your computer?"
Customer: "Three years."
"I have a 386 Pentium."
"My brother has a 486 with a Pentium chip in it."
Customer: "The computer told me it had contagious memory. Does it have a virus?"
Tech Support: "No, that is 'contiguous' memory, as in 'sequential'."
Customer: "That is impossible, it said 'contagious'."
Tech Support: "Type 'mem' and hit the 'enter' key." Customer: "Oh."
"My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

BigWillieStyles

Sat Jul 05 2008, 10:23AM

Registered Member #197

Joined: Sat Jul 05 2008, 10:00AM
Posts: 8
Thanked 0 times in 0 posts

love the error messages


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